I sail on loads of ships :)

blairhappiness:

dair-you-to-love-me:

blairhappiness:

newyorkdarlings:

blairhappiness:

okay,

newyorkdairlings, jevieenrose, conjungle, princessandthelabrador, Berlagak, sophiabee ( i tagged your urls to this post)

To all of you who responded to my post about the vows, i appreciate it. And i also appreciate the fact that you all responded to me respectfully. Nobody called me a…

“My main question was, why do DB shippers think the vows are any way romantic? ”

You asking Dair shippers why Dan writing the vows for Blair is romantic is like asking Chair shippers why they find Chuck secretly creating the perfect prom for Nate/Blair romantic, or why they find Chuck’s wedding toast to Blair romantic. I’m pretty sure Chair shippers would find that question ridiculous and the answer self-explanatory.

Yes. i find that question ridiculous but only because you’re comparing the two things. What part of what Chuck did for Blair was self-serving? I’m not sure to this day she ever found out he did it. How did what happen at prom injure her in any way? or deceive her? It wasn’t like he was giving Nate credit for it while doing it himself. Nate wasn’t even the one to plan Blair’s prom. Blair was the one who took care of everything. I’m pretty sure Nate only had to show up. So Blair didn’t expect anything from Nate in that sense so Chuck giving her the perfect prom wasn’t like he was outdoing Nate for her affection. Not saying Dan was outdoing Louis, but he kinda was when he let the vows be about himself, even though he didn’t expect Blair to find out. Chuck didn’t do anything to sway or impress Blair in any way to go back to him. The episode before, he was the who told her that they’re not gonna be together, so he was in no way trying to sway her, intentionally or intentionally. He just wanted to make her happy cause she deserved to be prom queen

As far as Dan is concerned, not saying he was trying to sway her intentionally. There is no way he figured Blair would have ever found out he wrote those vows. But i think subconsciously he was trying to impress her with those vows. And there was also a part of him that thrilled off the idea of simply knowing he touched the heart of the woman he loved with those words even if she never found out it was him who wrote them. so it wasn’t all selfless. I’m sure it was a struggle for him and these little things are part of his way of coping.

“Impress her with those vows?” Are you kidding me? He wrote the vows with every intention of Blair NOT knowing it was he who wrote those. Dan loved her from a distance and he was okay with that. When he wrote those vows he knew she had decided to marry Louis so anything he could do to make that bit easier for her he did. And if that meant showing her that her fiance did understand her then so be it. When Dan thought Chuck would make Blair happy he tried to set it up. When she was determined to marry Louis he tried to make it an easier decision for her. 

Of course Dan would have been happy that Blair liked the vows because it meant that she liked the guy behind the vows which just so happened to be him. But he was happy about it from a distance. The only time Dan made a move on Blair was at the valentines day party when Blair had rejected both Chuck and Louis. The reason Blair found out that Dan wrote the vows, was when Louis told him. Not Dan. And Dan just shrugged it off when Blair even mentioned it. Those vows didn’t sway her decision. Chuck, Dan. 

And as for why I find it romantic? The beauty of the vows was that Dan was able to write down everything he wanted to say to Blair without having to say it to Blair on purpose and complicate her life even more. It wasn’t just the fact that he wrote the vows that was so romantic, but the words themselves. Wouldn’t you want to hear how you changed someone’s life for the better? I know I would.

i don’t know why you ever bothered replying cause that’s exactly what i was saying. I know Dan didn’t think Blair would ever find out about the vows. I know it wasn’t self serving in that sense. I said it was self-serving in the sense that he accepted to write the vows for Louis but instead choose to express his own personal feelings. In that case he wasn’t doing for Blair and Louis’ marriage because what he wrote in those vows didn’t convey anything of what Louis felt about Blair. It was pretty much about him. He wasn’t interpreting Louis’s true feelings. He was revealing his own so he allowed Blair to have the wrong impression of the man she was going to marry. He allowed her to be deceived.

Those vows were self serving in that sense. He got to express himself to Blair in them. She may have not known it was him. But he knew it was him who wrote them. And he knew she was going to get to hear them. And he knew he’d get a chance to touch her heart with them even if she never found out it was him. But he knew it was him and he knew what it meant to him. Blair was the woman he loved. I imagine it must have been immensely gratifying for him. so it was self-serving in that sense.

He couldn’t do it directly because he couldn’t imagine he had a shot with her, so he didn’t it indirectly in the only way he knew how. I don’t blame him for not being able to refrain from expressing himself in those vows. I blame him for even accepting to write those vows in the first place, knowing they would put his heart in a compromising position, knowing Louis reading them to Blair would be a complete show of dishonestly from his part. Cause these clearly weren’t Louis’ feelings. It was just wrong. But i feel like Dan didn’t say no because he couldn’t resist to take this opportunity for himself in the sad little way that he did

And i also understand the romance of him watching her and loving her from a distance without being able to profess his feelings for her. So i understand why he couldn’t help what he wrote in the vows. But like i said, him knowing this, why did he accept to write the vows in the firsrt place, knowing he couldn’t remain neutral and do this for Louis. ( I think it’s pathetic that Louis couldn’t draft a couple words on page for the Blair he loves and appears to so eager to marry). But anyway, the ultimate thing is that Dan should have just said no to Louis. because the only other reason he did was to serve himself. He seemed to be so against Blair marrying Louis and being unhappy so why would he write the most beautiful vows to push her to do that.

Dan brought Blair to Chuck because at that point there wasn’t anything else he could do about it. The girl was clearly dying from lack of Chuck. I mean, if Dan thought he had any chance with Blair, he’d have no brought her to Chuck even if he knew that it was what she truly wanted. But in the episode, it was clear no one but Chuck stood a chance. Blair made it very clear that it was Chuck Chuck Chuck. He told her he wouldn’t mind raising her baby and she just replied with “I’m hungry”. Just like when he told her ILY and she also replied with “I’m hungry”. It would have been stupid for Dan to jump in right there in 5x10. There was only one fish in the see that Blair wanted and he was Bass. But i do commend Dan for facilitating their reunion. It showed that he really does care about Blair.

um, i don’t know what else to add to your point. But yes, there’s no way to say the vows were something completely selfless. And i do understand  the romance of the unrequited love they were having at that time but Dan was letting his love for Blair get the better of him. But i disagree with that part about Blair teaching him how to leave. I thought it was very disregardful of his relationship with Serena. Serena who gave him a face. Nobody in their junior year knew who he was. Serena put him on the map. Serena made his writing career flourish. I don’t even understand how Blair is credited for that.

cbessays:

Question: I’m a dair fan and I’m asking bc I honestly want to know: why do you think chuck is so great and hate Dan? No hate haha just wondering

Maribells (awesome):

I used to like both of them, actually. It’s funny to think about in retrospect, but I remember when I first joined the online fandom in S3 (posting on the TWoP forums), everyone there thought Dan was this horrible douchebag, and I was the one person who was like *small voice* “Umm, well, I like him…” Because I did, I found him kind of endearingly awkward and charming, and I enjoyed his dry sense of humor. Overall, he was just a pretty good guy. And yeah, he was judgmental, but as long as his flaws were acknowledged on the show, I didn’t mind them. After all, flaws are what make characters interesting. 

But then there was this shift that occurred in S4, where Dan got progressively douchier and the show (and the other characters) just stopped calling him out on it. He was downright horrible to Vanessa, cheating on her, getting back together with her and having her take care of “his” baby, then planning on dumping her for Serena again, and then acting all self-righteous when she (understandably) got pissy about it. And people- both fans and characters- acted like it didn’t happen. Because it’s Vanessa, so who cares, right? And let’s not forget that when he kissed his best friend’s girlfriend, Nate ended up apologizing to him- that was my first real WTF moment where Dan’s characterization was concerned. Then after 4x11, they started rewriting Dan and Serena’s relationship to make Dan seem like the victim, which was downright eyeroll-inducing. Serena was no angel, but half the problem with their relationship was that Dan constantly made her feel bad about who she was and guilty for not “changing” enough. It was an obvious ploy to have Blair and Dan commiserate together over how badly they were treated by their exes- but while Blair had legitimate room for complaint, Dan really didn’t. So that started rubbing me the wrong way.

Then we get to S5, when Dan starts bringing the douchery to entirely new levels. He treats Serena like dogshit, for absolutely no reason. He publicly humiliates Blair “for her own good”, blames it on Chuck- again- and then has the audacity to still act like he has some moral superiority over Chuck. He basically destroys Blair and Serena’s friendship without a hint of remorse. And now that he’s gotten dumped for the very first time in his entire life, he’s vowing vengeance on everyone. So basically- the guy is a judgmental, hypocrital douchebag.

The thing is, a character can act like a jerk and make mistakes, and still be likable- but the mistakes have to be acknowledged, and the character has to suffer consequences. Dan never admits to being in the wrong, nothing is ever his fault, and he never suffers any consequences for anything. What were the consequences for him humiliating Blair at her wedding and then lying about it and framing someone else? Oh right, she was pissed for like 5 minutes and then showed up at his loft to suck his face off. Whose fault was it when he had sex with Serena in the finale? Serena’s, of course, because she tricked him into it with her magical vagina voodoo. He took zero responsibility for cheating on his girlfriend, which was just so very… Dan of him. 

Contrast this with Chuck, who’s made the biggest mistakes, but also suffered the worst consequences. Chuck is flawed, for sure, but he acknowledges it, the other characters acknowledge it- and he’s shown genuine remorse for the horrible things he’s done. He’s not the stereotypical “good guy” who we’re supposed to believe is some bastion of morality even when he’s acting like a total douche. He’s the screwed-up one, the one who has to fight an uphill battle against his own instincts, his own demons. The one for whom “doing the right thing” doesn’t come easily or naturally, but rather takes concerted effort on his part. 

I’ve always liked Chuck, because he’s a fascinating character (and Ed plays him brilliantly). Much like Blair, he’s a study in contradictions- the heartless playboy who falls hopelessly, irrevocably in love; the unrepentant asshole who’s willing to go to any lengths to protect the people he cares about; the spoiled brat who had everything, except the only thing he really wanted- the love and respect of his father. No one on this show has been more of a dick than Chuck, that much is inarguable- but at the same time, no one has suffered as much as he has. No one, besides maybe Blair, has shown the same degree of vulnerability that he has. He was forced to grow up far too quickly, and never had a childhood as a result- and now, even though he’s a grown man experienced far beyond his years, there are times when he seems like a scared little boy. And the obstacles he’s faced, the lifetime of emotional neglect and abandonment, resulted in the misanthropic 16-year-old we first met in S1, who believed that happiness just wasn’t in the cards for him. I think him overcoming that, and overcoming all the shit that’s been thrown at him over the last five years, is by far the most compelling character development on this show.

And relative to that, Dan is not only hypocritical, but quite frankly… he’s not very interesting. He’s the normal guy who grew up with a loving, supportive family, no real obstacles to overcome besides the horrors of being upper middle class. From academics to career to romance, he’s gotten pretty much everything he’s ever wanted. In 5 years of this show, he was never once rejected by a girl- in fact, his pattern is to dump girls and then treat them like shit afterwards. So why exactly am I supposed to root for him? What’s interesting or compelling about his “journey”?

Chuck’s journey is one of redemption. Of hitting rock bottom and almost losing himself in a morass of depression, addiction, and self-loathing, of being too broken and damaged to even know how to love someone- but against all odds, fighting to overcome his demons and make a real life for himself. To finally achieve the love and happiness he’d never believed himself worthy of.

And that is why Chuck is worth rooting for. 

(So… that turned out longer than I intended, haha. Hope it answered your question.)

Source.